Thursday, September 30, 2010
(Tribute to Joe Ely)
Song written by Patricia Vonne & Robert LaRoche
Animated & Directed by Mike Shapiro
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I was already working on my Berlin Sex Diary video series when my fellow Naughty Author Chick, Wynter Daniels, mentioned her live reading at an Erotic Bliss Party. How exciting, I thought, but I could see she was nervous.
It takes practice, I told her, to be "in the moment" when you're reading your story. You don't usually get it right on the first take. I go over the scripts for my podcasts several times before I feel comfortable with them, then I record.
So without further ado, here is the backstory about my series, then click on the video above for Episode 1:
"The Berlin Sex Diary of Lady Eve Marlowe" is an audio podcast series Prequel to my Spice novel, Cleopatra’s Perfume.
Before Lady Eve Marlowe married a member of the British peerage, she was a cabaret dancer in
Berlin in the late 1920s during the wild days of the . Weimar Republic
Episode 1: Eve meets a monocled gentleman with a secret fetish.
Written, produced and hosted by Jina Bacarr. Music: "
" Composer/ publisher: Dan Graham, PRS, Shockwave. Visit http://www.jinabacarr.com Paris
P.S. I'm amazed at how many hits my Berlin Sex Diary Episode 1 received on the Metacafe site inserted in this post. More than 5,000 hits in ten days!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Please give a warm, naughty welcome to Shelley Munro, a fabulously talented author!
Naughty, Naughty—A Trip Back in Time
Thanks to the Naughty Author Chicks for inviting me here today to celebrate the release of The Spurned Viscountess. I’ve been doing a little blog hopping recently to help support some of my fellow Carina Press authors. MJ Frederick, who has written an awesome Western historical called Sunrise Over Texas, did a post about time travel. I’ve totally stolen her idea/topic and hijacked it for my own purposes. Thanks, MJ!
Imagine you could jump on a bus, pay your fare and go on a journey to whichever decade took your fancy. Think of the potential destinations, the naughty possibilities.
Stop in the Swinging Sixties: Visit Woodstock or attend a Beatles concert. Experience free love—thanks to the introduction of the contraception pill. We could laugh at Bewitched or I Dream of Jeannie, or watch the new show called Star Trek. We could hang with hippies, wear mini skirts and bikinis.
Or maybe the Fifties: Rock and roll, baby. You could get your thrills on Blueberry Hill or swoon over pelvis-thrusting Elvis.
Hop off the bus in the 1920s: Prohibition and drinking goes underground in speak easies. Gangsters rule and jazz is king. Check out those cars and watch out for that stock market crash. Deck yourself out in flapper clothes and pearls and Charleston the night away.
Victorian stop ahead: On the face of it, this stop might not appear naughty but there’s all that repressed sexuality and the steamy underbelly. They might hide the legs of their chairs but if you want a good spanking maybe this is the stop for you.
Regency stop: Attend a ball or dance at Almack’s Assembly rooms. Take the waters in Bath (I’m not sure why you’d want to because they taste nasty!) or ride along Rotten Row. Snag yourself a titled lover at an anonymous costume ball or dally in the maze with a rake.
Georgian stop: Dress like a lady in hoops and go without underwear. Try the new beverages of tea and coffee with their wonderful health properties. Powder your hair and apply patches. Whisper and flirt behind your fan with that sexy rogue. Titter at those weird looking Macaronis!
1720 England stop: Visit Castle St. Clare. Listen to the ghosts haunting the castle and spot the smuggler lights on the beach. Watch out for the witches and witchcraft. Attend a dinner party and wander the gardens searching for herbs. Woo that stubborn man to your way of thinking.
Contest: Which stop would you like to get off the bus and why? A place I haven’t mentioned or one of the above? Which naughty activity would you try first? Everyone who comments on this post will go into a draw to win a download of The Spurned Viscountess, Shelley’s new release.
Shelley Munro lives in New Zealand and enjoys both writing and reading historical romance. She’s always on the lookout for a good gothic historical and when she can’t find any, she writes her own. Plans are underway for her next…. She writes for Carina Press, Ellora’s Cave and Samhain Publishing. Her newest release is The Spurned Viscountess, which is available from Carina Press. You can visit Shelley and learn more about her books at http://www.shelleymunro.com
Here’s the blurb for The Spurned Viscountess
She must marry him.
Cursed with the sight and rumors of witchcraft, Rosalind’s only chance at an ordinary life is marriage to Lucien, Viscount Hastings. She doesn’t expect love, only security and children of her own. Determined to go through with the wedding, she allows nothing she encounters at the gloomy Castle St. Clare to dissuade her.
He wants nothing to do with her.
Recently returned from the Continent, Lucien has no time for the English mouse his family has arranged for him to marry, not when he’s plotting to avenge the murder of his beloved Francesca. He has no intention of bedding Rosalind, not even to sire an heir.
Dark secrets will bind them.
Though spurned by her bridegroom, Rosalind turns to him for protection when she is plagued by a series of mysterious accidents and haunted by terrifying visions. Forced to keep Rosalind close, and tempted into passionate kisses, Lucien soon finds himself in grave danger of falling in love with his own wife…
Website – http://www.shelleymunro.com
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Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/ShelleyMunro
Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/shelleymunro
Friday, September 24, 2010
I don't even have a tentative release date yet but I can still share what this story is about. It's actually a heavily revised version of a book I recently got my rights back for. When I say heavy, I mean heavy. This used to be a light romantic suspense with one fully consummated scene, but now it's a very erotic suspense with a new secondary storyline I hope readers will enjoy. So what's it about?
After being widowed at a young age, Jade Hadley is tired of her celibate existence and is determined to add a little romance and sex into her life again. When her deceased husband’s sexy best friend admits his long time attraction to her, her entire world is thrown off kilter.
Security expert David McIntyre is in love with Jade and has been from the moment they met. Unfortunately for him, that was the week she married his best friend. For years he’s stayed silent, giving her time to mourn. When he discovers she’s dating again all bets are off. When someone targets her to die he realizes he has more problems than he bargained for. Seducing her isn’t the problem. Convincing her that what they have together isn’t purely physical, however, is. It might even prove to be a bigger challenge than trying to keep her alive.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
By the time this posts, there'll be only two weeks to go before the second annual Ellora's Cave RomantiCon convention kicks off! Although Richfield, Ohio may not strike one as a hot destination for a conference, between October 7 and 10 it will be The Place to be for erotica authors (published as aspiring) and fans of the genre. Oh and who are the Cerridwen Press authors and fans? Chopped liver? Mainstreamers are welcome too.
I'm going, are you?
This will be my first RomantiCon, and everyone I've talked to who attended raved about last year's event. It sounds like the perfect mix of professional development and partying, and a publishing-snobbery-free zone. My only trepidation is arriving unprepared. To my mild chagrin and utter non-surprise, the main outlet for convention detail dissemination is the Yahoo Group. As much as I loathe Yahoo Groups, I won't contest that they're still the best option for what they are…Google Groups are very spammy, and until someone figures out a way to replace existing Yahoo Groups but manage to aggregate a given group's backlog of files and correspondence, we're stuck with them. [end rant]
Where was I going with that? Oh right—all the details of RomantiCon. If you're running behind on boning up on conference to-dos, as I am, you may be relieved to hear I'm doing all my fellow last-minute planners a public service, wading through the verrrry chat-heavy and disorganized Loop messages (I'm faulting the technology, here, not the users) in an attempt to simplify the deets. This may sound like overkill, but many fun events means plenty of chances to miss out on making the most of them. For example, have you got your costume? Your sash? Your silly hat? Well, those items are all for different nights! Allow me to elucidate what you need to know, day by day. For a full hour-by-hour schedule, go here.
Before You Leave Home
If you haven't booked your flight yet, be advised the Cleveland airport is closer to the venue. I made the mistake of assuming Akron was closer, since that's the home of EC's offices. But no! Dalton set me straight. And no matter which airport you're arriving at, if you don't know how you're getting to the hotel in Richfield, sign up with Gregg at Western Reserve Transportation. Click here for both the e-mail and phone number to contact him. There's also a database going on the conference's Yahoo Group page where you can enter your arrival and departure info and view others'.
Also, authors, make sure you've completed any other forms that apply to you—click on the Databases tab on RomantiCon's Yahoo Group homepage to view them.
Thursday, October 7
If you've brought promo items with you, Thursday is the time to get them to Valerie so she can get baskets assembled. I'm making up two customized ceramic mugs with bags of candy in them, tied with ribbons with my calling cards and a $5 Good Vibrations gift card attached. They'll be used as giveaway/door-prize items. Other authors are donating books, pens, bookmarks, Chapsticks…anything you can think of, I'm sure.
In the evening there's a meet-and-greet. Authors and fans alike are invited to create a Miss America-style sash with their name and possibly a book title or personal motto. There will be an informal contest to determine the best [read: most outrageous, I suspect] sash. I'm not sure if I'll be doing that one yet, depends on if the materials fall into my lap in time.
Friday, October 8
Workshops in the morning and afternoon, pre-party photo opps with the Cavemen cover models at 6:30.
At 7:30 the Roaring Twenties theme party kicks off! I'm psyched for this. Period dress is optional (flapper dresses, cigarette holders, feathers, beads, gangster-type ensembles, etc.) and although I was leery about shelling out for a costume I'd only wear once, I was determined to participate. I had fantastic luck, finding a flapper-esque dress I'd actually be able to wear elsewhere. After much internet scouring I figured it out—search for a "tiered dress". I found a really nice, really cheap one on Overstock.com, black chiffon layers that give that flappery look, no satin or expensive beading required. Another tip—I scored all my jewelry to accessorize it at the chain store Forever 21 (now simply called XXI in most malls). The twenties look is apparently hot, as they had plenty of cheap-but-cool cloche hats and feathered headbands and long strings of assorted faux pearls. Score. Also, if you fancy a dance off, bone up on your Charleston chops by searching YouTube for "learn charleston dance". There will also be a simple demo during the party. Fingers crossed the contest won't end up like the one in It's a Wonderful Life.
And this just in from Samantha Kane! "As sponsors of the dance contest, Mari Freeman, Kris Daniels and I will be giving away $100, $50, and $25 gift cards, and the winner will be Queen For A Day on Sunday, first in line at the booksigning, complete with tiara!"
Saturday, October 9
Workshops in the morning and afternoon, then in the evening it's the Ellora's Cave 10th Anniversary party! No specific dress code, just wear your dancing and schmoozing gear.
Sunday October 10
Workshops in the morning. At noon the bookfair begins! Free admission, and dozens of EC and Cerridwen Press authors will be participating. I can't wait to hear from readers. After feeling like a bit of a pariah in the sea of largely mainstream romance authors at RWA National's signing, I'm psyched to chat with erotica enthusiasts and suffer no snooty glances directed at my torsotastic book covers. No official dress code, but most authors aim for a balance between casual and formal—think nice jeans with heels and blouses, blazers and slacks, skirts and sweaters, and dresses that land somewhere between summer barbecue and ballgown. Whatever makes you feel comfortable and stylish, and projects the image of you that you'd like readers to leave with. I'll probably go the dressy jeans and blazer with swanky shoes route.
It's always a good idea to bring goodies for your signing spot—promo items, candy, business cards, laptops set up with your website or a slideshow of your covers displayed… And I know some more well-established authors have binders with cover flats of all their back titles in them for readers to browse. Someone on the Loop thoughtfully suggested that in addition to regular pens for the signing, silver Sharpies are a must—when you're selling e-books, you sign the cover flat, not the inside pages, so silver shows up great on dark covers. I bought a four-pack, so if you panic, come find me.
At 5:00 it's the farewell bingo party, with pizza! Strictly casual, plus there's a prize for the most outstandingly silly hat. Doing my best to be a joiner for a change, I ordered one specially for the occasion.
The Conference Checklist
And of course, all those things you're always told to bring with you to conferences: business cards, bandages, safety pins, your camera (captive Cavemen, remember?), mints, device chargers, Post-Its, aspirin, a sweater for layering since hotels are notoriously chilly, etc. Dalton also helpfully suggested thinking about water—last year the vending machines ran out of bottles by day three, so if you're cagey about tap water, consider packing some emergency bottles of your own. And an excellent tip from Regina Carlysle—first-time conference goers, don't rely on your perfect new go-with-everything shoes to get you through the trip. Pack a pair of comfort-tested flats for when those darling, brand-new heels turn savage, as they always do.
And that's about it! Attendees, if you have tips or details I've missed, please share them in the comments so I can add them to the post. The more comprehensive the better. Hope to see many of you in two weeks in your conference finery!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
She decided to find out.
To read episode two, click here.
Then another performer entered this outdoor Kabuki play, undoing the samurai’s fun with the beautiful female.
A portly Englishman.
Wiping his forehead with a tissue and panting as he struggled to catch up to the woman.
Legs spread apart, Shintaro stood watching the man make the long walk up to the gate, bowing and calling out in the language native to the samurai. The man was a go-between, he decided, acknowledging the intruder’s language fluency when he did his best at introductions.
Shintaro grunted again, then barely nodded. He had no doubt the woman understood his lack of a low bow indicated his superior status to her. Tapping his fingers on his scabbard, he waited to see what she would do next.
To his surprise, she mimicked his gesture then turned her back on him.
By the gods, she was insane.
His left hand went to his short sword stuffed into his sash belt. He squeezed the handle tight. Had they encountered each other on a country road, he had no doubt he would have carried her off and seduced her into his futon. Stroked her pale flesh with loving caresses and licked her full breasts before biting on her hard nipples and arousing her until she begged him to fuck her.
Protocol prohibited him from doing so at the gate of Imperial Palace.
Eyes flashing, he barely controlled his rage. He could not understand this particular madness that made the woman defy him so openly. She must be taught a lesson. Here. Now.
Without another thought, he grabbed onto the long train of her dress and pulled on its velvet folds, the nearness of her tempting him to rip it off her and run his hands up and down her nude body.
To his delight, she stopped short and lunged backward, nearly losing her balance.
Would the gods deliver her into his arms? he wondered.
A seedless cloud passed overhead, casting a shadow over the scene, as if the deities ignored his primal need. Instead the Englishwoman regained her balance, but not before dropping her parasol. It clattered down on the hard ground behind her. She ignored it. Instead she turned and glared at him, but he wouldn’t let go of her dress. Laughing, he pulled on it hard, so hard she couldn’t move.
"Release me at once," she yelled, hands on her hips, then she said words in English he didn’t understand, though he imagined they were of a defamatory nature since the go-between, fanning himself with his hat, apologized many times over for her.
Shintaro grinned wide at her, enjoying watching her helpless. For a moment, he forgot he was samurai and she was gaijin. Foreigner. That he was most likely under surveillance by his enemies at court. Men who would see him ruined.
They were two people caught in a game of attraction that sparked a passion in him. In her, too. He could see it in her eyes, defiant yet curious. His mood changed. Such a game was dangerous. Both to him and to her. For reasons he didn’t understand, he cared about what happened to her.
Reluctantly, he let her go. Lips parted, she looked back at him, questioning, then, with a quick movement, she picked up her parasol and raced toward the pavilion with the Englishman close behind her.
Shintaro remained still for many minutes, his hand still on his sword. The moment between them had passed, but not the feelings she had aroused in him. Hot, tempestuous. She was a firebrand. Yet he knew the gods would not look kindly upon him if he dared to meet her again.
He gritted his teeth. Never again would he allow himself to get close to her. But it was already too late.
That moment at the palace gate he knew his fate.
Shintaro burst out laughing as only a condemned man could when he knew his time had come, for he was condemned never to forget her.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Then, I had a brand new thought. How does this fit with all the other combinations of love? Many of my stories involve menage relationships, three people uniting to build their lives together. My characters fall just as deeply in love with one another as in any other duo relationship. Can they not all be soul mates with one another? And how tragic is it to not find a soul mate which everyone deserves? The person who fits.
So I decided to take these jumbled thoughts and put out a call for help to the other experts in this field, romance readers and writers. What do you think about soul mates? Do they exist? What happens when we do not find them, or find them and cannot keep them? I'm collecting ideas, because I think I want to write about this more explicitly in one of my next projects.
I still believe, but I'd like to hear from you.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Here's the blurb!
Dru Summers can never wait until Christmas to open her presents. So, when her husband Ryan puts a new one underneath the tree on Christmas Eve, she can’t help but sneak downstairs to take a peek while he’s sleeping. When Ryan catches her in the act, he decides the best way to deal with her behavior is to give her that spanking she so richly deserves. To her surprise, she gets extremely turned on by having her bottom warmed, and ends up having the best sex of her life. Now, that’s a Christmas present!
For a sneak peek at DEAD SEXY and UNMASKED my other upcoming releases from Ellora's Cave, as well as PROTECTIVE CUSTODY, my upcoming release from Whiskey Creek Press Torrid, visit my website at http://www.paigetylertheauthor.com/ and click on "Coming Soon!"
"Stories so hot, they'll make your cheeks blush!"
Thursday, September 16, 2010
I’ve struggled with this dilemma ever since my muse kicked me to the curb and decided I’m only visiting material. Personally, I think she left to take a course on Murphy’s Law, or duties/karate lessons/oops, forgot mom was waiting in the parking lot moments. That last one was yesterday, and I got an hour and a half of golden writing time. There are times when being taken for granted rocks, especially when you’re smart enough to use the opportunity to guilt the offender into doing dishes, but I digress...
So where am I going with this? I am a Turtle. My writing partner is a Hare. I went to her house last week where we mapped out our next book. As I was leaving, I joked about finding the prologue in my inbox by the time I got home, which was about an hour and a half drive. That was Wed., it arrived by Fri. afternoon, along with almost complete character arcs. And I have no doubt she waited extra time before sending it to me.
If you’re thinking I’m upset here, you’re wrong. The thing is, I love her for this. See, the fable has it backwards. The Turtle does not win the race. Without the Hare, the Turtle never even finishes the damn race. He’s constantly distracted by perfecting the details. In search of this perfection, he makes one pit stop too many and ends up swimming in a pot of soup.
The Hare continues to do what a rabbit does best - “put out” with amazing focus and dedication - and leaves a legacy.
I know I’ll never be the Hare (the likes of which includes Nora Roberts), but I don’t want to be the Turtle anymore, either.
More on this as it develops. I haven’t perfected the details yet.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
She decided to find out.
Didn’t she know he was samurai?
That he followed a moral path of chivalry carved on the scarred flesh of the warrior class? Unwritten but stronger than words printed upon parchment.
And as a great warrior, he could claim the head of his enemy with a single stroke of his sword. Her head, if he so desired.
A sword he must keep sheathed, he thought. A sword drawn would find its mark, as would his cock if he seduced her with his wit and charm.
Then she would know who was master.
He looked her up and down, thinking.
She also interested him in a manner not ruled by his cock. Bending like bamboo but not breaking. She stood strong like a samurai woman.
And that intrigued him more.
He could see by the look in her light-colored eyes that she was not as frivolous as the wives of the Englishmen he met at court. Fanning themselves and tittering about like noisy crickets. Insipid creatures who were frightened of him and lowered their gaze when he, a proud samurai warrior, walked by them.
This brazen Englishwoman had dared to look directly at him when she encountered him racing through the tall great gate. A gate leading to the pavilion on the grounds of the Imperial Palace.
And she kept looking at him.
He retained his silence in spite of her. As samurai, saying nothing meant more than words. Such was the power of Bushido, he knew, the way of the warrior. A discipline in self-control that was forged since childhood. His deeds of courage--and love-making, if he dared to so acknowledge--were forged from this credo. He was master of his own fate and hers, and would speak when it damn well pleased him.
Still, he was excited by their chance meeting, though he chose to disguise it. He made no move to disengage the lacquered scabbard of his long sword poking what he’d heard called a bustle. He was tempted to rip off the strange silken tail bobbing up and down on her rear end.
It was her pussy he wanted.
"Who do you think you are?" she yelled at him in English, picking up her long skirts and facing him.
By the gods, she was magnificent.
As was the way of his countrymen, he merely smiled. He did not give her any indication he was familiar with her language.
Why spoil the game?
"Not looking where you're going,” she continued. “Like a chicken hawk in search of his prey."
He grunted loudly, his forehead beaded with sweat, his hand still on his sword, but it remained sheathed.
His anger did not. He yelled words at her in his native language never uttered outside the walls of Yoshiwara. Words meant to frighten her by the sheer timber of his voice.
They did not.
She kept her composure, though he noted a slight twitching around her lower lip. He grinned. Her defenses were weakening.
He breathed out, a familiar urge eating at him. The gods would surely condemn him if he proceeded with mindless lust.
That didn’t stop him.
He moved toward her.
I will have her.
And the gods be damned.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am not a particularly daring woman. I don't do thrill rides or skydiving or even jaywalk! I'll step out on a limb in my writing, sure. But I prefer to get my thrills vicariously.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Today I am handing over the reins to a very talented debut author, Kele Moon. I had the pleasure of meeting Kele at the RWA Conference in Orlando this summer and let me tell you - this woman is going places. So please welcome Kele to the Naughty Author Chicks.
Why I write erotic romance. . .
I am not a closeted erotica writer. My family know, my friends know, and anyone who really knows me isn’t exactly shocked to hear I’ve just released a erotic romance with Ellora’s Cave. I’m vocal with my stance that writing romance is something to be proud of and I’ll usually get into a very heated debate with anyone who says otherwise.
The question is—Why?
Easy, I believe in love.
I believe in it with all my heart and soul. I believe it is the one true, sustaining emotion. Capturing that in written form is magnificent. What makes us feel more than a story that has us believing in the unbending love of two characters? There’s a reason Romeo and Juliet is arguably Shakespeare’s most recognized piece of work—True love speaks to people!
People want to believe in love even if they don’t admit it. We love the happily ever afters and there is nothing wrong with that. The fact that romance sells as well as it does restores my faith in humanity. There’s still a thread of dreamer and romantic left in a society rapidly becoming crushed with hate and fear.
Yes, I love romance, and I love it all—Make me believe in the love between your characters and I am happy.
But, as a writer I don’t just write romance, I write erotic romance because I believe in passion. I believe in that rip of absolute desire that dances over your skin when you read something so incredibly sexy you almost can’t breathe. More than the romance, I long for the burn, the feeling that your characters may actually self-combust if they don’t have each other. There is something so primal and pure in that. Desire is a deep, instinctual emotion and if, as a writer, I can invoke that—In my opinion, that makes me every bit as skilled as the horror writer that invokes fear or the drama writer that invokes tears.
I don’t want the fade to black—To me, the desire is the story, the culmination of it the highlight. I’m not hiding it behind closed doors. Writing it makes my characters real. It helps the readers feel their journey more richly and I don’t just want it in there, I want it to be the sexiest, most goosebump inducing clash of passion and love they have ever read.
And so yes, I write erotic romance and as a writer, someone who believes in the art of telling stories that make people feel—I’m really, really proud of that.
Three lifelong friends find themselves tangled in a web of love, pain and dangerous secrets in this erotic Garden of Eden tale.
Tall, dark and handsome Danny Carlow has always gotten whatever he wants except for the two he wants more than anything—his best friends, lovers Paul and Eve. Determined, he waits like a snake in the grass, poised for the right moment to offer them a temptation too delicious to resist.
Artist Eve Everton makes the painful decision to leave her true love Paul for the siren call of New York City. Ten years later, with her life in shambles, she returns. When Paul’s waiting arms aren’t available, Eve falls for Danny’s charm and finds herself a willing accomplice in the dangerous games Danny plays.
Former college football star Paul Mattling is now a successful attorney with a bright future ahead of him. But behind those brilliant blue eyes are secret desires for a taste of the forbidden. Will he play it safe or give in to Danny and Eve and bite the apple?
Friday, September 10, 2010
I recently read her book Past Pleasures. It features two things I don’t normally read: 1) a ménage situation, and 2) a beta male. Oddly enough it’s one of the cutest short novels I’ve read in a while. The ménage deal worked for me because of the futuristic setting. For the most part I just don’t buy a HEA in a contemporary setting. Maybe HFN, but that’s a blog for another day. Anywho, I found myself reading Past Pleasures again the other night because Tem (one of the main male characters) is soooo adorable. I’ve posted about alpha males before and if you read my stuff, you know why I love them so I'm not going to chat about them today. Today is beta male day!
When I started thinking about exactly why I liked Tem I couldn’t pinpoint it immediately. Everything about him was real, sweet, and adorable. He wasn’t a pushover but he was unsure of himself on more than one occasion and he tried to please the heroine. Like really hard. In his not-exactly-clueless-but-close way, he tried to please her. And it wasn’t annoying. No, it was incredibly endearing and made me want to hug him (and maybe rub my breasts against him). He came from a world of all men and this woman from the past is dropped into his world so her presence was abrupt and disturbing and he didn’t know how to act more than half the time. But he really wanted to make her happy (He also really wanted to touch her breasts and I don't blame him).
So, if you take away anything from this blog it’s that you need to read Charlotte Stein asap and that beta males are hot too. Here’s my list of why they’re easy to love (and yes, I realize this is a sweeping generalization, but it’s my blog day so deal):
1. They speak our language! Having a beta male as a mate is like having a gay best friend except better because well, you know.
2. They’re sensitive. Nuff said.
3. He’ll never check out another woman when you’re out together. Or if he does, it’s more likely he’ll be in stealth mode.
4. He has appreciation for pillow talk and post-coital cuddling.
5. He knows what Q-tips and nail clippers are and uses them.
I’m not gonna lie. More often than not I’ll probably always pick an alpha male. It’s just the way I’m hardwired. The truth is, I don’t want a man to go with me to the salon and I love the fact that half the time, my man and I don’t speak the same language. BUT, there are some things about beta males that are sometimes too much to resist. If you want to read about the perfect beta male, you need to check out Past Pleasures.
So what about y’all? What do you love about men? They can be alpha or beta, or hell, omega (what is that anyway?) Just tell me the one or two things you just absolutely love about men!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Not sure what that visual is all about? Well, a few weeks ago one of my favorite Twitter bitches, Charlotte Stein, pointed out that we each have new stories coming from Ellora's Cave on the same day (tomorrow!) We're both a bit cagey about self-promo, so we decided to forgo it and just pimp each other instead. Thusly, I'll be flogging her new sci-fi erotica The Horizon right here while she plugs Backwoods for me on her blog. Oh yeah, so simultaneous.
But wait—back to the weird-ass picture. I asked Charlotte for a list of stuff she loved, so that I could use those items for a bit of Photoshoppery. Included in that list were the movie My Demon Lover, actor Sharlto Copley, winter, and "stuff to do with feet, like one shoe coming off". There was more, but I couldn't fit black jellybeans, her husband, or the US version of The Office into the scene. Oh, did I mention Charlotte is from jolly old Englandia? She is. She's totally exotic. Throw another shrimp on the barbie, Charlotte! A dingo ate your baby!
CONTEST ALERT! We've got two prizes to give away to Charlotte's favorite commenters on this post. One is a copy of The Horizon (out tomorrow) and the other is a $5 gift card to Good Vibrations. Charlotte will pick the winners by noon EST on Saturday and announce them via the comments. You should totally enter. I mean, lookit the cover!
Grrarrrr! You know you want it. This is Charlotte's first release with EC, but she's no erotica newbie—she's got a bajillion other books out already. Just scroll down the right-hand side of her blog and behold all the covers. Holy crap, lady! Slow down! But she just won't. And just the other day I saw upon the Twitterz that she's already sold her second EC title. Shazam!
To give you a further sense of how cracked (and hence awesome) Charlotte is, I have conducted the following highly professional and well-researched interview:
CM: So, Charlotte, we met on Twitter, which if I'm not mistaken, you invented. How exactly did you conceive of and construct Twitter? What is it built of? Does it involve carrier pigeons? How can people stalk you most effectively on Twitter?
CS: At last, someone has given me the proper credit! It's true: I invented Twitter. I'll prove it, too: I conceived of Twitter by thinking, wow, I'm going to wildly underestimate the popularity of my social network invention, and then run it like a mountain man whipping an aged donkey up a hill, with twenty million billion people on its back. That's essentially the whole story. It's made up of wrinkled old donkeys, summat like that. And robots with only one hand. And flying whales. And people can sometimes stalk me through twitter without encountering donkeys, whales or robots, by just coming to http://twitter.com/Charlotte_
CM: Aside from being the inventor of Twitter, you're also an unapologetic celebrity man-candy glutton, flitting from one quasi-famous male to another like an insatiable hummingbird, gorging yourself stupid on their manful nectars. Tell us about your favorite, most stalkable men of late, and what makes them so lustacular.
Oh, and you said men. So I should probably mention that Sharlto likely encountered Michael Fassbender and Bradley Cooper somewhere in the back of that cupboard. Both of them shivering in the darkness, naked, babbling about the things I did with a carrot and lots of baby oil.
CM: I occasionally have a famous guy's face or body in mind when I'm typing up the movie playing in my head as I'm writing a story. Are any of those fellas the inspiration for any characters in your upcoming Ellora's Cave release, The Horizon?
CM: Now that I've corralled this interview into effective pimping territory, would you tell us about the book? What inspired it? Is it as delightfully off-kilter as your other erotic stories? To give us a sense of its mood, for example, what song does it bring to mind for you?
Okay, so aside from Nathan Fillion, the other things that inspired The Horizon are: Firefly, Red Dwarf, Total Recall, Terminator, cool heroines like Sarah Connor and sex pollen stories (my secret weakness!). And if my other stories are delightfully off-kilter, than this one is...full kilter. It's balls to the wall kilter. I didn't hold back with this one, and poured all my craziness and any funny I have right into it, and loved it too much for sanity's sake. I cried when I wrote the second to last bit. I loved the characters too much. And whenever I think of the songs I wrote it to —As If By Magic and Armour Love, by La Roux—I think of it.
CM: Now I know you're an enthusiastic fan-girl of many things. What shows, movies, books, fictional characters and so forth are you salivating over at the moment?
CM: Describe for me the best possible movie ever. Stars, plot, soundtrack artists, setting? If you're one of the stars, describe the filthy filthy consummation scene between you and the leading man.
Masterpiece. Twenty Oscars. A billion pounds at the box office. Can't believe no-one's thought of it before.
CM: So, um…what are you wearing?
And I'm wearing a big orange tube dress, and nowt else. No, really.
CM: Oh, wow, that sounds hot. What about Sharlto Copley? I presume you've got him on a leash at the moment, slathered in something. What's he slathered in? Does he like it?
NOT an allergy to peanuts.
CM: Okay, okay. Tell us all why My Demon Lover is so awesome, because really, you're the only person who's ever seen it, as best I can tell.
CS: It's true. I am. I'm in the secret club "Only Fan of My Demon Lover". I watch it by myself, and tell myself how orsum it is. Then I write letters to myself, telling myself that the bit where he turns into a woman and his head explodes is sheer genius.
But there are other reasons it's orsum, besides that. He turns into a demon whenever he gets horny. That's all I need to say, surely? I mean, that's got to be the greatest premise of any movie ever. Plus it stars Scott Valentine, who played Nick on Family Ties.
My God, what are you all waiting for?
CM: Last question. We're both about the same age and grew up obsessed with Labyrinth. So, David Bowie's tight gray pants in that film: sexy or unnerving?
Now that you've gotten a taste for Charlotte's particular flavor of crackedness, here's the blurb for The Horizon:
When Quade swoops in to save his archenemy, Sol, from bloodthirsty Cybers, he doesn’t expect to find himself almost torn apart, terrified beyond imagining and even worse—declaring his love for her.
Now they’re trapped on Sol’s spaceship, both half-insane due to the Cybers pumping them full of some lust drug. If they can’t get a hold of themselves quickly, they’re going to be doing some pretty dirty things.
But surprisingly, Sol doesn’t seem to mind that newfound feelings are bursting out all over—especially when said feelings pave the way for wild and constant sex with her former enemy.
Want more? Read the excerpt!
Now without further ado (and because Charlotte included "hamsters being flung off their running wheels" in the aforementioned list of stuff she loves) here's a selection of hamsters!
Don't forget to comment by Saturday at noon EST for a chance to win The Horizon or a $5 gift card for Good Vibrations. A very big thanks to saucy slag Charlotte for prostituting herself with us so willingly today. Be sure to check out her blog, The Mighty Charlotte Stein, and if you do the Twittah, stalk her @Charlotte_Stein. See you in the comments!